Hi Friend!

Sign up for my super duper ready made hotter than hot high powered no lose trading system that trades all markets and all time frames … includes 400 years of tree leaping yak futures from southern Tibet along with the doodle bug / tree asp September 2010 spread which we’re positioned for … don’t miss out … we turned 73 cents in pocket change into $100,000 yeti dollars inside of 24 minutes!!! AND YOU CAN TOO … just by following our simple signals from a system that took 47 million hours to reverse engineer and optimize historically expecting even BETTER returns in the future. Trade 1 contract and make a million … trade 47 contracts and make 47 million inside of just 24 minutes. Everyone’s doing it … why haven’t you signed up now? Don’t lose your house or car or pet goat to repossession. SIGN UP NOW!

BUT WAIT, we’ll also double your order where you’ll RIP $94 million out of the markets if you hit our website inside of the next 10 minutes and click on the Ginsu Knife box (of which you’ll receive a complete set, our complements) … all for only $97 dollars.

Isn’t that a f&*king weird @ssed price??? We’d normally charge a round number like 75 or 100 bucks … but this is special .. so special that we found a new Fibonacci number of 97 that guarantees, if you pay it up front, will optimize your success … just like we re-optimize our system we’re selling every day. Don’t wait. Be the talk of the block/town/country/world/galaxy and never have to work again. And here’s our IRON CLAD, MONEY BACK 200 YEAR GUARANTEE: If your spawn (for however many generations) have not achieved the same results we’re achieving by September 2209, with real money and ALL broker confirms provided to our attorneys, then we’ll simply refund to you 10% of the purchase price. SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?!?

Sign up and pay us NOW!

Ps. See our ad in rippedoff.com

THERE’S MORE!!! Our wives/husbands/significant others are so pissed off that we’ve not had a real job or a single winning week in over a decade that we’re willing to offer you our first born child (he’s 9 now, but has a gentle disposition, great at creating my website design that you’ll be clicking on to the link provided) … and that’s on top of everything offered for virtually free and described above!

I’ll mow your yard for you … every week and employ my gas powered leaf blower during the fall season and bag ‘em up for ya … and shovel snow off your porch, walkway and driveway. Also, if you reside in a tropical region, I’ll mix your favorite drink and deliver it to you poolside under the umbrella with a tiny umbrella on the drink … ain’t that grand!!! We aim to please. So, please please please please please please sign up and pay us money so we can retire, or at least afford a 6-pack of luke warm beer … even if you can’t help me pay my mortgage … I’m cool with it, SERIOUSLY!

I simply can’t trade my way out of a wet paper bag … but I guarantee I’ll be able to pay my alimony if you’ll just sign up and PAY! For god’s sake, help a brother out. I spent half my life optimizing this program on historical data. You’ll love all the colorful lines and the cool “bing” sound that I’ve programmed in when price crosses the moving average INPUT of your choice.

Cheers to all!

Ps. Help me help me

Thank you and god bless … my ABA number and checking account number are on the site that my son said was working now that he’d worked the bugs out of it … so wires are preferred, but checks are okay too … and cash is king!

This is so wrong. LOL!

Thanks for the feedback folks. And Kool, you have me thinking that I need to totally revise my pricing schedule ... gotta have the old "Silver Package" ... "Gold Package" ... and " Platinum Package" ... hmmmm. Gotta upsale 'em once I hook 'em in and get some of their money. Since the initial info is only a sliver of the vast portion of what it takes (from my course) to grow their income into the Billions, maybe I'll attach a "better" price (for me) to each level. And they'll have to eventually buy all to have the maximum chance at 100% success! Good info, thanks. Trying to decide where to put the decimal place after the $ sign. Will let you know when I find what makes sense. And, btw, I'm only doing this because I want everyone to succeed and since I'm also a multi-trillionaire. I just trade for fun and am filled with love and altruism to the Nth degree for my aspiring fellow traders that find themselves amidst the struggle to keep their heads above water.

I AM LONG 10,000 JULY 94 CALLS on the SPY. Hope all the morning reports come out well!!!!

You are a true Altruist MonkeyMeat, a genuine human being and a true giver. I have learned so much from you. If I hadn't purchased your course I never would have learned all the intricacies of filing bankruptcy or preparing squab. Also I never would have known that repo-man meant repossesser. Your gift keeps on giving and educating. Right now I am learning how corrugated cardboard can provide a splendid shelter.

Well got to go for now. Bill collectors at the door you understand.

Thanks again MonkeyMeat.

P.S. can't wait for the new movie!

Thanks for the adulation myptofvu. Gives me kind of a messanic warm fuzzy, ya know?! Based on that, I'm looking to start a cult. I'll offer you the 2nd command position and we'll rack up enough dough through donations (and trade vending) to both afford high grade cardboard for our street urchin condos! Maybe we can upgrade 'em with some chicken wire to reinforce the structure for heavy winds and/or earthquakes etc.

I'm sending you out a complimentary pair of tix to my upcoming movie VendorMan!

Cheers and Happy 4th to all in the U.S. ... gotta go eat a hotdog or two and tear into a 12-pack now!!!