And now it's my sad duty to post this. Something I didn't want to have to post. Something that has me stressed out big time. Trouble I just don't need. So, read this and see where I'm at...
Well, folks, I have a problem. It's weighing very heavily on my mind. And a big factor in this is my health. I need to reduce stress, and manage stress better, or I may really be in big trouble. I do this forum to try to help people. If this injures my health it is not worth it to me. And right now I have a problem, and it is stressing me. One option is to simply close the forum. I have discussed that before, and many have literally begged me not to. And it isn't fair to those that get a lot out of this if one person does something and they all get punished for it. We have way too much of that in our society already.
So, what is the issue? Well, before I get to that, let me say being a moderator of a forum sucks. You have certain responsibilities, and you have to think of the group. Sometimes you have to do some things that you really hate, for the benefit of the group. Some moderators may take a passive stance, some more aggressive. I like passive when it works. Laissez faire as they call it. Hands off. But sometimes that doesn't work, and it can slowly erode out of control.
Now the question arises: what do I do if someone I consider a friend does something in here that I find unacceptable, but after many gentle prods and explanations, they continue to do it? One approach is not to say anything in public, as that would really put them on the spot, which pretty much no one likes. If the person has a temper, that may not be a good recipe. So, something in private would be one approach. Honestly, I haven't tried that yet, as I'm just too 'afraid'. I'm thinking it wouldn't go over well, and I just don't need to get an e-mail that will stress me out a lot. And I know that would.
Another approach would be to discuss it in here, tactfully, and ask for input, feedback, and to look at options. I guess that is what I will try. Let me state the issue. This is an interactive forum. This is not a posting forum. That is how I chose to structure it. It's not a forum for everyone. Just like many might not like my sarcasm or dry wit. If not, there are plenty of other forums that may suit you better. Sorry, but it is my forum, and I have to have fun and feel I am helping in the way I am able.
My main tenet in here is we are able to interact, expect answers, and do it without fear or nervousness, like in many other forums. I modeled this to be the opposite of the classroom in school where you had to be afraid to raise your hand to answer or ask a question. If the answer is wrong you may get laughed at, or if it is a question it may be viewed as 'stupid'. So kids keep their mouths shut and don't learn. I vowed my forum would not be that way. Ever. This is a 'no fear' zone.
Now, if you want to post here, you must be willing to answer questions, even if you think they are ‘stupid’. That’s the price of admission. One approach a poster may take is ‘Look, I’m going to post some cool stuff. Amazing stuff. And you should learn a lot from it. But I’m not really in to reading all the other posts, seeing if there are questions, and even if I didn’t read them and happened to see a question, I really don’t want to answer them. I’m not big into that. But, what I post is very valuable, so take it for what it is, look it over, and basically leave me alone. You are getting a great deal here for free with my posts.’
I am all for this. I agree with it 100%. There is only one problem. It is incompatible with the goals of this forum. This type of style is better suited for other forums structured otherwise. It isn’t for here. But, what if the contribution is very great, and the poster is very popular with the readers? To me that sounds like favoritism. Same thing we have now in Amerika with various entities. The goals and rules apply one way to some and other ways to others. How does that make you feel? And if you consider this poster a true friend, how does it make you feel when you make it clear that this is going against the goals and desires of the forum creator, and yet it doesn’t matter, it keeps going on. It doesn’t make one feel respected.
Instead, I find myself with my tail between my legs, walking on eggshells, being careful not to offend the person, or they might ‘get mad’ or leave. How about, instead, I am in charge, I get the respect I deserve, all the while being very respectful myself, and have an open dialog that resolves the issue in the spirit of this very successful forum? It seems like that is as likely as the banksters all of the sudden doing the right thing.
So, one option I have is starting my own section up again, and just letting others control my forum, against its ‘mission statement’. This stresses me out thinking about that. I could ban the person. This would not only be upsetting to many members, it would likely cause the person to be upset, and I just don’t need all that bad karma hanging over me. I could simply just ‘take it’. Resign myself to rules/wishes/goals being broken even after I have begged for them not to be, and just accept that. I don’t have much control over my forum, just let it be, and say ‘the good outweighs the bad’. Leave it at that. I suspect many would say this is the best way to go, what they would do. It reminds me of the way Amerikans have just ‘taken it’ from our leaders. I never thought this was a good approach.
Hence, here I sit. I have some decisions to make. All I ask, for all I have offered in here, all I have given, is that people simply interact. If you want to post, have fun, post away. But you must answer all questions asked of you. That is your obligation in here, the cost of being in here. It’s fair, and it is best for all. If you can’t do that, this is not the forum for you. I ask all to follow this guideline, or leave. Please don’t make me take putative actions. We are not children, this isn’t grammar school. Can’t we all be fair, mature adults acting together for the good of the whole, not as individuals just looking to accomplish our own goals? That is my vision, for here and for our country, and our world. If we can’t even model that in here, what chance does the world, now in such dire straits, have? I fear none…
Thoughts?
