I thought that it would be unfair if you missed any of JP's jokes so I've started this thread/topic to keep track of his jokes. It's a little know secret but JP only charges $5/month to learn Market Profile in the room and the other $195/month is for the jokes.

JP on making dinner: "The only thing I know how to make is a reservation at a restaurant."

"The last time I saw a profit, he was wearing a robe."

JP on obstacles against his trade: "Must break free. Must warn others."

JP on window dressing: "My kind of window dressing and yours are very different. Mine is X rated. A guy could get arrested for my kind of window dressing."

JP on Point and Figure charts: "I just point at the chart and try and figure out what it means."

JP on clearing out his browser's cache: "I almost got my cash cleared out at double the IB." [laughter comes from speakers and JP can't talk to us for a short while.]

JP on being addressed by his full name: "The email didn't say Dear Stud so I immediately became suspicious..."

When somebody does a stupid trade: "Put the bong down sir and take a few steps back from the bong."

JP on the price of oil: "If oil hits 105 a barrel I'm getting a rickshaw."

JP on picking bottoms: "People who try and pick bottoms end up with smelly fingers - and if you try and pick tops you'll get slapped in the face."

On new snow fall in Mesick: JP says: "You guys know how short I am, well there's so much snow outside I can't leave the house without stilts!"....Q: what size stilts? A: "Adult size!"